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Connor Lacey Investigates the Internet/Transcript
This is the script for Connor Lacey Investigates the Internet. Lord Darcanon: It's time to strike. Attack. Disrupt. Destroy. All technology, computers, games, cameras, phones, they're all targets. The internet isn't safe. It's vulnerable. So are the people who use it every day. My plan is in motion. It can't be stopped. I won't be stopped. And humanity has no idea what's coming. he created the Heartless Anti Life Equation virus named Hale Lord Darcanon: All right, Hale. You know what to do. Hale: And do it I will. Lord Darcanon: It's time to send humanity back into the Dark Ages. Mammy was doing her routine business work when there was a glitch in the systems Mai Lacey: Hey, Connor. Come look at this. Connor Lacey: What is it, Mammy? Mai Lacey: I think, there's a bug in the computer. Strike that. There's a virus in the computer. the electrical energy zapped at Connor Lacey into the internet Connor Lacey: (Yelling) bumped down Connor Lacey: Whoa. I'm inside the Internet. Now to find that virus and stop it. back to Hale, he's going to the wormhole to find some heart data Hale: Analysing heart data. (Finding heart data and found Tadashi Hamada's Baymax's combat chip and possessed it) Analysed. (Escaped from the wormhole) Login Person: Is that Tadashi Hamada's Baymax? Login Person 2: I believe so. Hale (Dark Baymax): (In Baymax's voice) Hello. I am Baymax. Your personal healthcare duplicator. Login Person 3: Glad to meet you too... Wait. Did you say "healthcare companion" or "healthcare duplicator"? Hale (Dark Baymax): Duplicator. (In Hale's voice) Heart data found. Duplicate. Duplicate. Duplicate. the three login people have been turned into Dark Baymax Dark Baymaxes: Hello. I am Baymax. Your personal healthcare duplicator. Hale (Dark Baymax): Now, come, my minions. We've an Internet to infect. (Cackling) to Connor Connor Lacey: This is the most strangest thing that happened to me. Dark Baymax 1: Hello. Connor Lacey: Baymax? Is that you? Dark Baymax 1: I am Baymax. Your personal healthcare duplicator. Connor Lacey: "Duplicator"? Baymax would never said anything like that. Dark Baymax 2: Hello. I am Baymax. Your personal healthcare duplicator. Connor Lacey: Another one? Dark Baymax 3: Hello. I am Baymax. Your personal healthcare duplicator. Dark Baymaxes: (Repeating) Hello. I am Baymax. Your personal healthcare duplicator. Connor Lacey: I better get outta here. Connor leaves the spot Hale (Dark Baymax): Hello. I'm Hale. That stands for Heartless Anti Life Equation. I'm a virus. Connor Lacey: So you're the reason I'm stuck in this cyberspace. Hale (Dark Baymax): (Laughs) Why, yes. And I got the Baymax Tadashi Hamada made for his brother and upgraded it with Heartless data. Connor Lacey: By the way, how did you turn all these login people into your vessel? Hale (Dark Baymax): Well, I have the Anti Life Equation in my systems. So that way, I can make copies of this body. Connor Lacey: Whoa. I need to find a anti-virus chip to stop you. Hale (Dark Baymax): Not if I duplicate you first. Connor Lacey: Yipes! (Runs away) was running so fast, he was heading for the website named OhMyDisney.com Connor Lacey: That was close. At least in here I'll be safe. Whoa! Is this OhMyDisney.com? That means, I got to see all of my favorite Disney characters. Awesome! Buzz Lightyear: To infinity and beyond! Connor Lacey: Whoa! This is amazing. Tigger: You got that right, buddy boy. Connor came across Baymax Connor Lacey: Uh-oh. It's Hale! But wait, I need to make sure that Baymax is the real Baymax. (Went up to Baymax) Hi. Baymax: Hello. I am Baymax. Your personal healthcare companion. Connor Lacey: Yep. That's the real Baymax. Baymax: My sensors indicates, that you are scared. What seems to be the trouble? Connor Lacey: Well, there's an evil computer virus who has the Anti Life Equation virus. Baymax: On a scale of 1 to 10, how would rate your pain? Connor Lacey: Well, with the Internet in danger from Hale, I say 100. Storm Trooper: Spreading rumors about a virus destroying the Internet? You're under arrest for that. Baymax: Oh, no. Connor Lacey: Run, Baymax! Baymax: Right. Storm Trooper: Stop right there, you two! and Baymax have run into the Disney Princess room, where they met Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Pocahontas, Jasmine, Ariel, Belle, Miranda, Tiana, Rapunzel, Anna, Elsa and Moana Tiana: Baymax, we heard the commotion. Moana: And we also heard about the virus that can duplicate itself. Anna: But we know how to stop it. Pocahontas: The anti-virus chip. Ariel: But we need to get to the virus maker to stop that virus. sounds of screaming and hero battles Hale and the infected logins Baymax: Uh-oh. Elsa the Snow Queen: I've got an idea of how to get past these Baymax copycats. Snow White: We made some hiding boulders. Baymax: So now, we have to get in those hiding boulders. Aurora: And we'll make the anti-virus chip to stop Hale. Cinderella: But we're going to need all the help we can get. Miles Callisto: We'll go. Disney Junior gang: Right. Beshte: We better get going. All: Right. the team sneaked past the evil Baymaxes and made their way to the virus website. Unknowingly, Lord Darcanon is watching them Lord Darcanon: Well, Connor and his team are going to make the anti-virus chip. Well, when I'm done with them, I'll send humanity to the Dark Ages. I'll activate the shape-shifting program to slow them down. at the Internet, Connor and his friends have created the anti-virus chip Mirandos Ariellian: It's done. Fuli: Now we just have to get to place it on the original Baymaxs vessel and the virus will be stopped. Connor Lacey: Great. The only problem is, which of these Dark Baymaxs hold Hale? Ono: Maybe that one. Bunga: Or maybe that one. I liked his face. Elsa the Snow Queen: I don't understand. They all have the same face. That's Hale. Princess Sofia: I thought that was Hale. Captain Jake: But, that's Hale. Hale (Dark Baymax): I am Hale! The biggest Baymax of all! All: Oh no. Skully: Crackers. Talk about pulling yourself together. Doc McStuffins: We have to get this anti-virus... (Viral-Cheetah snatched the chip) chip. All: Oh dear. Aurora: Where's it going? Izzy: I think it's heading to the Tom and Jerry wiki. Tiana: But which part is the question. Princess Merida: Guess we'll have to find out as we catch up to it. Elsa the Snow Queen: And fast. Because, the Baymax infectors are getting closer to infect us. All: Right! gang followed the viral-cheetah to the Tom and Jerry wiki Flain: There's the mammal. It's swimming? Sweet Mayhem: That's one tricky animal. Connor Lacey: I think we better get a move on, because here comes Hale. Princess Sofia: I think I have an idea. Lucy, do you think you can Master Build a boat big enough for all of us? Lucy/Wildstyle: I can do that. (Using LEGO bricks to make the boat) Ta-da! Teslo: Rad fun! Kion: Now, all aboard! (The team went on the boat to catch the viral-fish in the Tom and Jerry wiki) Princess Elena: We must warn you, Connor. This ride could get a little rough. Connor Lacey: The fish is getting fast. And, Hale is getting closer. We have to go faster. Vulk: What's that? Go faster? Okay. Loretta Callisto: There's no earthly way of knowing Wreck-It Ralph: Which direction we are going Yugi Moto: There's no knowing where we're rowing Princess Sofia: Or which way the river's flowing Moana: Is it raining? Connor Lacey: Maybe. Elsa the Snow Queen: Is it snowing? Connor Lacey: Could be. Pocahontas: Is a hurricane a-blowing? Connor Lacey: Perhaps. Astral: Not a speck of light is showing Toa Takanuva: So the danger must be growing Connor Lacey: Oh boy. Flamzer: Are the fires of hell a-glowing? Connor Lacey: This is getting freaky. Glowbert: Is the grisly reaper mowing? Connor Lacey: Maybe I shouldn’t said “go faster”. Joey Wheeler: Yes! Anna: The danger must be growing Snow White: For the rowers keep on rowing Connor Lacey: Yikes. Kion: And they're certainly not showing All: Any signs that they are slowing Haruna Kitumba: (Giggles) Now hang on! All: (SCREAMING) (Grunting) Mokuba Kaiba: Here we are, guys. Baymax: The Fabulous Super Race. Connor Lacey: "The Fabulous Super Race"? That means, we're in "Tom and Jerry in The Fast and the Furry." I know this film. I've seen it like a million times. Tristan Taylor: Looks like, the race is going to start. Batgirl (DCSHG): So we better make car and fast. the team made a car in record time Jessica Cruz: We better get a move on. Bunga: And fast, because Hale's right on our tails! Biff and Buzz: And there they go! Biff Buzzard: Looks like, we got a last minute entry. Buzz Blister: Make that two last minute entries. Hale (Dark Baymax): Duplicate! (Missed at them due to the sink bumping into him) Grammy: Attaboy, Squirty! Biff Buzzard: Our contestants are going to have to employ the first of their vehicles'... ...special modifications to get around this notorious Southern California traffic. Buzz Blister: And it looks like they are doing just that, Biff. Soccer Mom: Okay. I know just what to do now. Katana (DCSHG): That's not very modified. Cyborg (DCSHG): Indeed. But this is. (Pressed the button and the vehicle went past the traffic jam) Buzz Blister: Hey, what's that pussycat up to, Biff? Biff Buzzard: No good it looks like to me, Buzz. Hale (Dark Baymax): Heart data found. I got you this time Biff Buzzard: That was a close one, Buzz. Buzz Blister: That pussycat is dynamite! Mirandos Ariellian: Ouch. That's gotta hurt. Princess Amber: Indeed. Grammy: Well, it looks like pretty boy is gaining, Squirty. Squirty! No! Bad dog! Oh, Squirty! No! Drop it! Drop it! Miles Callisto: We're getting closer to Mexico. Gorthan: This naughty pussycat would do well in the pits of Niltor. Perhaps one of my stink pods will give him a taste of his own medicine. Supergirl (DCSHG): Whoo-whee. That smells very bad. Batgirl (DCSHG): Tom, look out for the cars! Anna: That’s gotta hurt. C-3PO: I got a look in at Globwobbler studios. Vanellope von Schweetz: Let’s see what’s going on. Irving: It's a hit, sir! G.W.: It's an ultra, super, dynamic mega hit, Irving! We can't end this thing in Mexico! Quick, call the crew, tell them to move the finish line. Irving: To where, sir? G.W.: Irving, which one of these shapes is Mexico? Irving: This one here, sir. G.W.: Let's see... ...how about if we take them to... Biff Buzzard: And here come the racers, Buzz! Steed Dirkly: Hey, I won! Give me that key. Biff Buzzard: Not so fast. Nick Wilde: That’s not what he meant. Grammy: Was that a speed bump? Oh, heavenly days. Did I win? Buzz Blister: Now, don't get too excited there, racers. We've just received word from our Hollywood studio... ...that due to high ratings, The Fabulous Super Race is going to be extended. The next finish line is located deep in the heart... ...of the Amazon jungle. - What? What are you talking about? Isn't that great? Hello again, folks. Buzz Blister here in the heart of the Amazon jungle with my cohost, Biff. Our racers are forging intrepidly ahead through... ...this dense jungle on their way to this very unstable... ...and rickety-looking bridge. Here come our racers! Oh, it looks like Steed Dirkly. That was a close one, Buzz. Yes, it sure was, Biff. And here comes... Oh, it looks like Grammy. I hope she can negotiate the bridge with those slats missing. I'm right on your tail, pretty boy! Oh, no! It looks like Grammy's in trouble, Buzz! It certainly does. And it's just too bad that the rules prevent us... ...from coming to the rescue of that sweet, very old lady. No, that would be cheating, Buzz. So if this lady snaps through the rotten wooden slats of this ancient bridge... ...and falls to her doom, we'll just have to go to a commercial. She just seems so helpless and delicate. So weak, so scrawny. So noodly and frothy. So crunchy and creamy. Pretty impressive. Hey! Looks like Gorthan, Destroyer of Light, is making his crossing now. - Gorthan's in trouble, Biff! - Wow, he sure is, Buzz! That heavy metal car of his may be too much for that old bridge to handle. Knargack the Black-Winged... ...I summon thee to appear and use thine hideous powers... ...to lifteth me-eth over this obstacle-eth. Gorthan, that was some trick! Did you train that bird yourself? Oh, no. Knargack's soul belongs to that of a vanquished foe... ...who's now trapped and forced to serve. Can it talk? Could we get an interview with it? I have to get going. I'm falling behind. Right. Well, good to see you again, Gorthan, Destroyer of Light. Thank you, Buzz. Always great to see you. I wouldn't have pegged him as an animal lover. I wonder who will be next, Biff. That's funny. That doesn't look like what's on my map, not at all. Oh, well, signs don't lie. Oh, darn. I just had this washed. I'd better call GoneStar. Hello. Thank you for calling GoneStar's remote assistance department. My name is Dave. Would you like to subscribe... ...to our free music download offer? - Oh, no, thank you, Dave. See, I have an emergency going on now. I see. Well, let me locate you on my screen. You are Mallory MacDoogle, a soccer mom. I have you pinpointed in a remote and unexplored region... ...of the Amazonian jungle. - And what seems to be the trouble? - See now, that's just it. I'm sinking in deadly quicksand and I need help getting out now. I'm afraid I can't do that, Mallory. Just kidding. Well, let's consult our GoneStar quicksand computer... ...and see if we can't get you out of there. Simply follow the prompts on your screen. There are many types of quicksand on our interesting planet. There is desert quicksand, swamp quicksand and jungle quicksand. You have selected jungle quicksand. Now please choose the jungle you are in. Are you in A, the Belgian Congo... ...B, a Southeast Asian jungle or C, the Amazonian jungle? Amazonian, yeah. Now choose what you would like to do with the quicksand you have selected. Would you like to A, make quicksand, B, garden with quicksand... ...or C, get out of quicksand? To get out, press... Wait a ding-dang minute here. You know, I think somebody might've done this on purpose. Oh, no, don't go that way, little mouse. The race is this way, yeah! My van sank in the quicksand, so I guess I'm out. Here, have an orange. It will give you energy. Good luck! - Too bad about Soccer Mom, Buzz. - Yes, I was kind of rooting for her. But what's this? That crazy pussycat... ...has stopped at the end of the bridge. He's got a saw. I sense a dirty trick coming up. Looks like that one backfired on the pussycat. It sure does, Buzzalito. And this river is infested with pussycat-eating piranha fish. - That's Tierra del Fuego, sir. - And that? That would be the Antarctic, sir. Fantastic! The racers will have to modify their cars and sail across water to make it there. That should boost the ratings even higher! Folks, I've just heard from Hollywood and have received some terrific news... ...that I'm sure our racers will be pleased to hear! Our racers are now going to head for the southernmost tip of South America... ...where they will prepare for the difficult crossing... ...from Cape Horn to the Antarctic. And won't our racers be excited and happy to hear that! And here they come! - Give me that key! - Not so fast, Steed. Biff has some news for you all! That's right, all. The race has been extended. And we will see each and all of you in the Antarctic! Good luck, everyone! Avast, Squirty! It'll take more than a little drizzle to keep us from winning. This reminds me of sailing Blood Blister Bay back in Niltor. No, this is terrible. Stop sinking! Well, maybe this isn't so bad after all. Well, Miss Mermaid... ...you are in luck. Because Steed Dirkly has just washed upon your shore. And as soon as you dry these damp clothes, I'll reward you... ...by letting you fix my dinner. Hey, this just in, Biffo. Oh, some disappointing news from the Southern Atlantic. It seems Steed Dirkly is being parboiled in a briny bouillabaisse... ...and served with a caper dill cream mousseline. Buzzby, he's out of the race. But he sounds delicious. Well, Gorthan, congratulations on being the first one to make it to the Antarctic. Thank you, Buzz. And hello, Biff. Say, Gorthan, have you ever heard that thing... ...about sticking your tongue on a piece of frozen metal? No. What do you mean? Well, Gorthan, they say if you touch your tongue... ...on a frozen piece of metal, it will stick. - What? - Yes. What do you think, Gorthan? Will it stick, yes or no? Well, no, that's nonsense. The answer is no. It wouldn't stick. Well, what about putting your money where your mouth is, Gorthan? - What do you mean? - Well, we have the south pole right here. Why not give it a try? What? You mean, stick my tongue on this stupid metal pole here? Who would have thought that the so-called Destroyer of Light... ...was really just a big wimp. - Look, I'm warning you! No need to resort to evil magic, Gorthan. If you think your tongue won't stick... ...just go ahead and show us. All right. If only to prove to you mortals that you are wrong! Here. Well, go on, Gorthan. I'm doing it, I'm doing it. There. You see? I told you. - Told you. - I knew it. Hey, Buzz, look. The ice is cracking. Gosh, you're right, Biff-O-Rama. Let's hop over to safety. Hey, what about me? Come on, fellas. And it looks like Gorthan is out of the race. It sure does, Buzzo. But at least we proved once and for all that your tongue will stick... ...to a metal pole if it's cold enough. - And that's something. I curse your souls, mortals! Boy, somebody sure is a sore loser. That leaves the pussycat, the mouse and, of course, Grammy. Yes. And here they are. Let's have a word with Grammy. Say, Grammy, I'm sure the folks at home... ...would like to know how you feel about the race thus far. Well, it's a wonderful competition. It's good for a person to participate... ...in old-fashioned, clean, wholesome fun! Squirty. Squirty! Grammy's coming! Mr. Pussycat... ...how are you going to sleep at night after a rotten trick like that? I think he'll sleep just fine, Buzz. Looks like the pussycat is in the lead. Well, it seems we are down to only two competitors now, Biffy. That's right. A cat and a mouse. A predator and the prey. - The overdog and the underdog. - The eater and the eaten. - The big and the small. - Okay, Biff, I think we get the idea. Just take a look at the ratings for the show, sir. Holy cow, they're through the roof! If this doesn't make me vice president of Hollywood, I don't know what will. We gotta keep this up. What can we do to make the show more exciting? Where are they? They're racing across the Antarctic. The next stop is Australia. Australia, huh? Isn't that where Mozart is from? No. That's Austria, sir. Oh, right. So how should we have them get there? Well, standard procedure is to fly or sail, sir. You gotta learn how to think out of the box, Irving. But how else would they get there? There's an enormous body of water... ...between the Antarctic and Australia. - Precisely. - You mean...? - Yes, keep going. - Underwater, sir? - Bingo! That's the kind of thinking that will keep you out of the mailroom. The leg of the race between Antarctica and Australia will be held underwater. It'll be a television first. Let's just see how high we can get these ratings to go. Well, I see the mouse, Buzz, but no sign of the pussyc... Wait! His car is there, but the pussycat is not in the vehicle. As we all know, the contestant must be in his vehicle in order to stay in the race. Congratulations, Mr. Mouse! You have taken the lead. You're that much closer to owning your very own mansion. Now it's time to modify your vehicle... ...because the next leg of the race to Australia is taking place. Underwater. Tough break for the pussycat. Yes, cats don't like water at all. Especially this one. Mr. Globwobbler, sir, the pussycat is out of the race. I love that cat. That backstabbing feline drove our ratings through the roof. - Get him back in the race! - Yes, sir. Take it easy, Punchy. Oh, we're on. G'day all you mates and sheilas. We're here... Biff, no, it's "g'day. " Like, duh, you pronounce the "guh" sound. Well, now I'm all self-conscious and it sounds weird to me. I think you better do it. All right. Then here, you take Punchy. I don't think this kangaroo likes me very much, Buzz. Nonsense. Take the leash. G'day, folks. We're here down under in beautiful, hot, humid, bug-infested Australia. And, folks, say hello to our Australian ambassador of good will, Punchy... ...the boxing kangaroo. Isn't he cute, folks? He's adorable. G'day. The next portion of the race will take place in the rugged outback. Isn't that right, Biff? Then on north up to Weipa in the northernmost portion of Australia. The next leg of our race is about to begin. Here they come! It looks like Grammy. Yes. And that's amazing. Because the last time we saw her, she had been eaten by a whale. Never underestimate the elderly, Buzz. Especially Grammy. No, sir. This old bat is full of surprises. Hey, it's the mouse. Any sign of the pussycat, Mr. Mouse? I think it's curtains for the pussycat, Buzz. And that's too bad. His rotten attitude was making this race so exciting. Well, good luck, rodent. Oh, my little spud! I love you! Let's burn rubber, Squirty! Wait a minute, Biff, what's that? Well, Biff, it looks like the network has taken a liking to a certain pussycat. Why bother? He can't win. Grammy and the rodent are already halfway across Australia. Yes. I think we can stick a fork in the pussycat, because he's toast. And so is his car. Well, it's always encouraging to see a guy who won't give up. Yes. But this case is hopeless. There's no way the pussycat will be able to make up the gap... ...between the mouse and Grammy. Yes. He'd pretty much have to saw the entire continent of Australia in half. And that's extremely unlikely. Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle. No! He's not gonna... He sure is gonna. That crazy pussycat is going to saw Australia in half. - How about that, folks? - That's some determined pussycat. I'll say, Biff. We'd better get off this continent... ...before it sinks to the bottom of Davy Jones' Locker. Oh, you rotten, dirty pussycat. Well, it serves you right, you naughty pussycat. We're going down, Squirty. Quick, the parachutes! Why, you ungrateful little stinker. If it weren't for me, you'd still be at the animal-testing lab... ...having antiperspirant sprayed in your eyes and drinking paint. Geronimo! Open the chute, Squirty. Open the chute! Oh, Squirty, I can't... Sir, Grammy is out of the race. The pussycat did her in. - It's just him and the mouse now. - This whole caper is falling apart. Listen up, Irving. This race is taking too long. The public have the attention span of a cocker spaniel. You'd better speed up the last leg of the race or your sorry butt goes bye-bye. But we told the public this race would go through the greatest cities in the world. And we haven't even been to Cleveland yet. Irving, the public doesn't want a bunch of pretty cities. They want action. Action and plenty of explosions. Now, I want this race wrapped up in five minutes, Irving... ...or you'll find yourself sorting mail. - Yes, sir. Well, it looks like the lower life forms have taken the lead. That's right, Buzz-Buzz, and just as well. I think they've done something for the self-esteem... ...of fur-covered animals everywhere. Tom and Jerry, as the only surviving drivers in our Super Race... ...we're giving you two nuclear-powered, rocket-car, jet-plane, hovercraft things. And there's a teensy change in plans. You've only got five minutes to finish the race! That's right. Once you racers leave Borneo... ...you'll cross Europe and the Atlantic Ocean to the good old U.S. Of A. There you'll cross the continent to reach the finish line in Hollywood, California... ...in five minutes! So good luck. And may the best lower species win. Biffette, we're here at the finish line, where the crowd waits anxiously... ...to see if the winner will be the cat or the mouse. Holy smokes, folks. We can hear them heading right this way. They're neck and neck. Isn't that right, Biff? That's right. I too can hardly speak anything articulate with all this excitement. At those speeds, how long do you think it'll take them to reach the finish line? I'm with you. It's hard to form even a simple sentence with this excitement. But who will win? The cat or the mouse? Feline or rodent? Pet or pest? The couch-scratcher or the cheese-nibbler? Who, Biff, who? And here they come, folks. What an incredible final lap. Right, Biffaroni? And they're a mere 5 feet from the finish line. And in the lead is Tom. No, Jerry. No, Tom. No, Jerry! Tom. Jerry. Tom. Jerry. Tom! Jer... T! J! Category:Connor Lacey Category:Transcripts